Look, we all get it. It’s terrifying to crawl out of https://datingranking.net/ your self-constructed comfort cave (mine’s lined with paperbacks and a quilt my mom made me out of t-shirts) and expose your weary eyes to the blinding light of cutesy “first date” coffee shops. But for chrissake, the last thing that any sane person in this brave new world wants or needs is an app which allows you exchange almost anything – a shopping trip, a nice dinner, plastic surgery(!!) – for a date. Unfortunately, thanks to the groundbreaking genius of the same guy who came up with SeekingArrangement and set sail a fleet of Sugar Babies, we now have Carrot Dating, which does just that: from the comfort and safety of your smartphone, you can now bribe someone into dating you.

Dating is hard

Not to get all AP European history on you, but John Locke, the grandfather of the “Having Cool Stuff Makes You Happy” theory, believed that man’s purest state of bliss was ownership of one’s self and one’s necessary materials in a state of nature, where labour is granted with its due spoils and everything is “fair.” Fast forward 324 years and you’ve got pot-bellied human oil slicks who think all it takes to coax a woman out of her jeans is an expensive dinner, an attitude irrevocably rooted in our notions of payment and reward; sacrifice and gain.

To be clear, women who use the app can bribe people too, a fact left out of the many outraged headlines blaring across the world wide web: “Carrot Dating Lets Men Bribe Women Into Dating Them,” yells Business Insider

Granted, the outrage is completely understandable, especially given what the app’s MIT-educated founder Brandon Wade had to say about his product: “I realized that women love presents like dogs love treats,” he’s quoted as saying. Συνέχεια ανάγνωσης I Bribed Some Random Guy To Date Me, It Didn’t Work →